A Belated Recap Of Last Weekend - Part One

Sometime last week I received a surprising email. It was a Facebook friend request from a girl I hadn't spoken to in well over a year. Originally, we met off JDate and hooked up for a few weeks until I eventually discovered she was a virgin. For whatever reason, she really liked me and wanted me to be the one. I know some guys are into that but it's the opposite for me. I'd rather a girl had been with 100 guys than 0. So I politely declined, urged her to lose it to someone else, and then get back to me. Virginface ended up dating some dude for a few months but after they broke up we did ultimately have sex. I remember feeling slightly repulsed by the act and we didn't talk for awhile. She deleted me as a Facebook friend, blocked me on AIM, took my number out of her phone, the whole deal. As time went on I'd occasionally shoot her a random 2 A.M. text if I was looking for shelter in Manhattan on a Saturday night. None of those were fruitful. So to make a long story short, this email was completely out of nowhere.

Naturally I accepted and then inquired about the sudden change of heart. Virginface cited a surge in maturity, that she'd gotten over everything between us, etc. I didn't believe a word of it. I think she needed dick. But that's what I'm good at. For 30 seconds anyway. So we made plans to hang out last Friday night. She's from Long Island originally so she was going home after work and then we'd play Scrabble and drink 40s at my house. The catch? I had to pick her up. Well, it was disgusting last Friday - torrential rains, high winds. I had zero desire to drive. So I texted her that afternoon:

Hey - had some car issues this morning. Do you remember where I live? You need to get behind the wheel.

Virginface must've needed it badly because she agreed immediately. She also rattled off my exact address, which was a little frightening.

When she showed up that night she looked good; she'd lost a some weight and the monsoon didn't deter her from dressing up to play Scrabble. I was too lazy to even buy 40s. There was a years-old bottle of White Zinf in our basement that someone must've brought for a party and nobody ever drank. I poured two glasses, shooed her into my room, and we started playing Scrabble. She conceded mid-game and we went at it. Nothing story-worthy, really. Afterwards she asked me about my car issues.

"Well, the car and I voted on whether we should pick you up. I voted yes but the car voted no. Since it was a tie we flipped a coin. The car won. I'm sorry."

"You are SUCH an ASSHOLE!"

I started passing out and she took that as her cue to leave. Since then, Virginface has sent me a few emails, texts, and calls - none of which I have reciprocated. I fully expect to be deleted from her life again in the near future.

The Sexonomics:

Condoms: $5 (I finished a pack here so I'm adding it to this girl, even though it's really only 1/3)

Total Cost: $5